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January 03, 2011


This is the kind of thing that I worry about, among a gazillion others. I hate that you have to deal with this, but I really want to thank you for writing about it. Somehow it makes my fears less scary. You are dealing with this, and even though you have questions, you love your son and will figure it out.

Did you decide when you will move forward with another cycle? After two negative diui's we decided to do a March IVF cycle. I am relieved and really freaked out all at the same time. I just couldn't grasp the thought of more negative iui's. best of luck with whatever you choose!

I understand completely what you are going through. We have 3 kids all from the same donor and although most of our close family and friends do know about our situation it is constantly being brought up by those who DO NOT about the looks of our kids. Just today a women stated that my twins (one boy, one girl 8 months old) looked just like each of us. "OOOOOOOHHHHHHH" she gushed "aren't you so lucky your little girl looks like you and your little boy looks just like his Daddy, how lucky".

I have had a family member comment to my husband when my now 2 year old was born that she looked nothing like him. "Maybe next time" she said. Then the twins were born and she says "nope they look nothing like you either, to bad".

We have had minor health issues with the kids, some allergy stuff and the doctor always asks if there is family history of this or that, and you know you can only really answer half of it with full knowledge.

My biggest stumbling point seems to always be when I am out by myself with the kids and they ask me questions like: Is there daddy tall, does your son look like him?" etc....etc....and all I can do is refer back to the donors information quickly in my head and try and answer...but how do I answer? Do I answer using my husbands physical appearance or the donors appearance....it gets complicated in my head some days, and I will admit that it has made me grapple for answers and stutter over my own words as I struggle to be truthful yet guarded!

Teeth problems can arise in spite of good oral hygiene. It's great that you took Ben to the dentist. Otherwise, the problem would have gotten worse. The best you can do know is closely monitor your kid's oral health by taking him to the dentist more often. =)

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