MYOB

There are certain things that society has determined are not polite to ask women: her age, her weight, has she had cosmetic surgery, etc.  I would like to add one more to the list.  I think it should be forbidden, unless the woman is your closest friend in the entire world and you have no secrets from each other, to say to a woman "so, when are you going to have another baby?"  

I am so weary of having that bomb dropped on me at the most unexpected moments.  It is especially lovely when it happens at the tail end of a TWW and my emotions are already running high.  And, it doesn't help when the inquiring party tries to "persuade" me by saying that we have such a great kid already, we really should have another.

I swear, I am tempted to totally unload on the next person who says that to me.  It's happened 5 times in the last 5 weeks.  Who wants to be lucky number six?

Comments

[Rach]

This question does suck but it sucks even more when the word "another" is taken out of the equation and people have been asking it you for the past 11 years....

Hope you can answer them all with "in 8 months actually!"

x

[MommyinWaiting]

Yup this really is the pits, why do people think it is any of their business when you have one, your next or whether you ever will???

[Suzanna Catherine]

Yes, this question sucks and it has for YEARS. I was being asked the same thing in the '60s and '70s. Finally, after many teary moments, I got to the point where I would look them in the eye and say, "why would you ask such a personal question?" and then turn and walk away. No one asked me twice.

[Rebecca]

Yep, definitely sucks. We're still trying for number one and two days ago (the day before AF showed up) someone said to me "I don't know if you've ever thought about having kids." I wanted to pummel her.

I think it does happen less often when you've had no kids than when you've had kids, though, because I guess they figure "oh, she's got one, must be OK to ask about the other one because I'm sure the first was easy." I can only imagine how obnoxious that must be!

[shasta]

Seriously! How many kids does it take before people stop asking? I don't know why that question bothers me so much.

[one-hit_wonder]

Yes, I hate this question, too, and I'm sorry you have also had to deal with it. That question makes me long to be pregnant and I don't need anything to make me want that even more than I already did.

[Just Me]

I have started just telling people when they ask why we don't have any kids yet. I tell them "We want them, but we've been going through fertility treatments for the last two years."

Typing it here, it makes me sound really healthy and open. But really? When I tell them, I'm hoping that they'll be really embarrassed that they asked.

[myinfertilitywoes]

Terrible question that I didn't realize was a terrible question until I started not being able to answer it myself.

[Erica]

I am on a personal mission to make people realize that asking about pregnancy, having more children, blah blah is just as personal as the other questions you mentioned and almost as bad as asking if you and your spouse are having sex.

[Sharee]

I once had a couple describe me as "selfish" because my husband and I were childless. Others have described us as such a loving couple ... we should share our lives with children ...I've never off loaded on anyone, but it has been tempting. Now that many know we've experienced 3 infant losses ... most ask about adoption. I rarely satisfy their curiosity.

[Negative Nelly]

Such a perfect post. You should right an etiquette book :) My friend's sister LOUDLY after a SB game (which I couldn't play because I was in the middle of our miscarriage) "when are you going to have kids? You'll be great parents" Everyone around us knew, they were just silent and stared at her. I didn't say anything...

[Samantha]

I agree whole heartedly! I swore after hearing it a billion times from my family (cousins, aunts, sister, brother in law, pastor, etc.) that I would NEVER ask another woman or family that question again!!

I don't mind 'Do you want kids'? Because I can just say yes, we do very badly. But then it leads to "You never know when the perfect time will be, you should try now, etc.) If only they knew.........