Passing

Louis and I look very similar - so much so that we could be related.  It just stands to reason that Ben, who takes very strongly after my father's side of the family (as do I), could "pass" as Louis' biological child.  I would be lying if I said that it didn't cross my mind occasionally, especially now that we are working on telling Ben his story.  I find myself thinking "why make such a big deal out of it? Why not just keep quiet?"  But then I think about how Ben would feel if he accidentally found out.  There were a lot of family secrets in both Louis and my family and we saw first hand how it affected the family.  I don't want even the potential for that with us.

Perhaps it would have been easier, though, if we had picked a donor who was a 6'10" Scandinavian.  Then we'd have no choice but to tell!

For those who choose not to tell (and it is your choice, please don't feel that I am saying there is only one right way and this is it) -- how would you handle it if you child accidentally found out the truth?

Comments

[ultimatejourney]

We're am planning to 'tell' our daughter for the same reasons you feel it's important to tell your son. (Though there are occasional moments when I wish we didn't feel compelled to do so.)

I'm curious, though...have you bought any books to help you explain this? In particular, have you found any you'd recommend?

[Marika Sting]

We are also going to tell our daughter when the time is right. However, I do have those fleeting moments when I think to myself, "What If", what if we don't tell her, how could we go about keeping it from her? And then reality quickly slaps me in the face and I know that we HAVE to tell her. She deserves to know.

Whenever I have these moments I always ask myself, how would I feel if I found out something so significant about my life had been kept a secret from me. I would probably be pissed off.....