DI Mom

Operation SAHD

Daycare is killing me. 

When I returned to work when Ben was 7 weeks, we put him in a private home setting with a day care provider who had a 8 month old daughter.  It worked really well, at first, but then we began to realize that she had some severe psychological problems that were becoming more evident due to stress (she was also a part-time law student).  We then moved him to a center at a church near my work.  The center has a dedicated baby room and they have 1 care giver for every 3 children but Ben is having a hard time adjusting to any sort of schedule there.  Basically, he refuses to sleep in the morning and the only reason he sleeps at all is because I nurse him at noon and he falls asleep then.  This is resulting in one cranky little boy!  By the time we get home, he's so exhausted that he has problems winding down and it ends up with everyone having a bad night.

Louis and I have been debating about how to best handle this.  We think Ben would do best if he was at home and someone came in but trying to find a nanny is really tough (and very expensive).  Luckily, one of Louis' daughters used to be a nanny and she doesn't have a job lined up after finishing grad school.  She is willing to come and work for us but she just applied for some counseling program so we have to wait to hear if she was accepted or not.

If she does become our nanny, our ultimate goal is for her to work for us for a year.  At that time, Louis will be fully vested so he will "retire" from his job and become a SAHD.  We are really excited about this!  I think that the kids will really benefit from having their dad with them every day.  I also think it will help me deal with being a WOHM.  Knowing that my children are being cared for by their father will allow me to focus on my work instead of wasting the morning, worrying that Ben isn't sleeping, or his teeth are bothering him, or he's extra fussy today, or...

I can't wait!

Fabulous news!

We were able to locate SIX more vials from our donor!  Hooray!  If all goes well, we expect to begin TTC again next summer.  I'd really like a spring baby (last summer was really tough on me) and that would put at least 2.5 years between the kids.  A nice space, we think.

When I found out about the vials last Thursday, I actually began to tear up.  I had just been thinking about how we would go about selecting the new donor (match on Ben?) when Louis encouraged me to try this one last avenue.  I know I keep saying that genetics aren't the end all and be all but I am just (what? relieved? thankful? happy?) that Ben will have someone else who is "just like him", genetically.  I know that if we hadn't located these extra vials, Ben would have been just fine with whatever sibling he would have but I just feel like this will make it easier for him somehow.

Eh, chalk it up to being a mother who is a little off her rocker right now...

At-home fertility testing

According to an article in yesterday's NY Times, you may now purchase an at-home fertility testing kit that has his and hers components.

I like the fact that there is a male component to the test.  The article estimates that 50% of fertility problems are male factor yet when infertility is suspected, it is often the woman who has a million tests.  Maybe being able to run a cursory semen analysis from the comfort of their own home will reduce some of the stress that is involved in fertility testing.  It would definitely be a benefit for those who do not do well in a clinical setting.

You see what you believe

Louis has been posting pictures of Ben outside of his cubicle at work and I am amazed at the comments that he receives.  The majority of people at his work says the Ben looks just like him.  The majority of the people at my work says Ben looks just like me.  And then there is my brother and sister-in-law, who know that we used DI, who says that Ben has a lot of Louis' traits.

I know some people get all worked up about the possibility that a DI baby will not look like his father but I am convinced, baring a difference in ethnicity, people will never pick up on it.  If someone believes that a child is the biological offspring of a certain man, they will see a resemblance between the child and the man. 

Louis told me about a man who posted on the DI Dads Yahoo Group a few weeks ago.  He is afraid that when he is out with his children, people will automatically know that he is not related to them biologically and that people might think that he kidnapped them or something.  I wish I could just tell this man that people will have absolutely no clue.  He is their father and as long as he acts as such, that is how he will be perceived.  Ben may or may not look like Louis (he's 6 months old, a bit young to tell) but there is no doubt from the way that they act that they are father and son.

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And now for some show and tell: Ben's early forays into solid food.